 “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” Job 6: 14 Meditate or Reflect
A few months ago, when I was at the grocery store, there was an elderly woman short of money in the checkout, and the person behind her paid the difference. Or the times when we hear a person is particularly sad or lonely, and a friend shows up to be a shoulder to lean on. When I was a high school teacher, I saw countless classrooms become safe places for students during the lunch hour, or teachers with extra lunch items for hungry students. When I think of kindness toward one another, I think of stories such as these. Stories of generosity remind me not only that we are capable of kindness, but also that our creator made us to be kind. However, we also see far too many news stories these days where people are selfish, cruel, vulgar, and demoralizing toward others. In many ways the rhythm of the world has become self-centered, and few make time for kindness. But when we make kindness a way of life, we are reminded of the words of Jesus: “I tell you the truth, when you did it [showed kindness] to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” (Matthew 25: 40). Kindness is the way of Jesus.  “We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food”. 2 Corinthians 6: 3-5 Meditate or Reflect
In the verse for today we learn that patience is a key attribute of ministers of God; and we are all called to be ministers in some way: as parents, in our jobs, in our community, as friends and family members. So, when patience is tested or running thin it is an indication that something is out of balance. There are various causes that lead to impatience: taking on too many things that presses us short on time, or feeling like too much time has passed and the results we desire are not happening soon enough, or others are demanding of our time, or we are in a long period of enduring hardship with no end in sight, and sometimes impatience can be a defect of character. So how do we wait patiently while we endure trials of various kinds? First, we can seek quiet places where we ask God for direction. Second, we use the hands and feet that God gave us to do our part while we wait: seeking answers or opportunities, ministering to others, walk in the presence of God. And third, we wait quietly without grumbling so we do not lose faith in God’s purpose for us; although, we must talk to others in our faith circles and ask for prayer. Being patient isn’t always easy, sometimes it can bring us to brokenness, but our patience can bring us closer to God in our dependence on Him, and our patient perseverance becomes an amazing witness that glorifies God.  “Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.” Luke 1: 78-79 Meditate or Reflect
Recalling from the first part of our journey with the fruit of the Spirit, we learn that shalom is the Hebrew word for peace and it means being at ease, unharmed, harmony, and wholeness. Peace is a state of being that lacks nothing and has no fear of being troubled. So when peace has been disturbed it can leave us fearful, disconnected, out of step, uneasy, or feeling in harm’s way. One of my specialty areas as a counselor is working with trauma, and the very nature of trauma is a peace disruptor. Trauma disrupts the harmony of our nervous system, disrupts and distorts our thought processes, and can disrupt our relationships. Trauma disturbs our peace. In some way we have all seen trauma, whether through lived experience (abuse, neglect, crime, war, assault) or by vicarious observation (witnessing an accident, world events, stories of tragedy on the newsfeed). From a spiritual perspective, we live in a world where darkness surrounds us. Many times, the darkness is not of our own making, but when we have born witness to the darkness, it disturbs our peace. However, we learn from the verse in Luke that God’s tender mercy, in the Light of the world that is Jesus, has come upon us, and He is our Light as we walk through darkness. If you have endured a trauma that has left you feeling that your peace is disturbed, I encourage you to talk to someone: a counselor, a spiritual director, or a trusted advisor. And ask the Lord to direct your steps in restoring peace.  “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit.” Psalm 51: 12 Meditate or Reflect
Joy and happiness are often used interchangeably, but there is a great difference between the two. Happiness is laughter, the delight in being with someone you care about, it’s birthday presents, and chocolate cake. Happiness feels great for a time, but it is temporary. Joy is the sublime confidence in knowing that God is in control. Joy is not always accompanied by laughter, sometimes joy can come in the presence of tears. But, joy is eternal. Sometimes our joy can be shaken by our circumstances, losses of relationship, or in unforeseen changes. We can experience diminished joy in illness, job loss, broken relationships, indecision, and a loss of purpose or calling. For many years I was an educator, and I experienced a great joy that God was present with me throughout that calling. But near the end of my teaching career, I discerned the calling was over, and I just felt hollow, and my next career was not yet certain. My joy was greatly diminished, and I grieved through many tears in the not-yet-knowing what my next calling was. After sorrow, and waiting, and plead-praying, God gave me a new call to become a counselor. And just like that, joy was restored. God was always in control, especially when I couldn’t see it. The verse for today is spiritual direction for what we do when we are feeling less joy: “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit.” The truth is it is easier to experience joy when everything is going well. But when joy is shaken, we must do our best to direct our thoughts to the joy that matters most – Salvation. And in the waiting and plead-praying and continuing to "ask, seek, knock" (Matthew 7: 7), for God to sustain you with a willing spirit. It is also helpful to allow others who will keep you company with compassion, and to encourage you, and to listen to you.  “When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to Him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept. So the Jews were saying, ‘See how He loved him.’” John 11: 33-36 Meditate or Reflect
In this third segment of our journey with the fruit of the Spirit, we turn to restoring and repairing any spiritual fruit that has endured a loss or relational wound. For instance, when we have endured a loss with love, or had joy stolen, or peace disrupted, and so on; any type of loss may cause us to become guarded or hesitant to experience love, joy, peace, kindness again. But we must seek to live fully in the Spirit, so let us turn to love. The verse for today is about the death of Lazarus, a dear friend to Jesus. And, Jesus, who is God and man and sinless, shows us what grief looks like. He loved Lazarus, and also his sisters who were grieving Lazarus. And Jesus meets them in their grief and weeps with them. There are times in life where we have experienced love and loss, or we have loved a dream that never came to be, or we loved something and prayed for it before it ever existed. Sometimes love and loss looks like it did for Mary, and Martha, and Jesus: the loss of a friend, a sibling, a parent, a child. Sometimes love and loss is experienced through a divorce, or not getting the career you wanted. Sometimes love and loss is experienced in the desire to be married yet remaining single, or the desire to have a child yet remaining childless. If you have loved and experienced loss, Jesus meets you in it, and He holds you in your grief. The rest of the story of Lazarus assures us that for those who know Jesus, He will raise the dead to life, and we will experience restored love despite our loss.  “Like a city that is broken into and without walls, so is a person who has no self-control over his spirit.” Proverbs 25: 28 Meditate or Reflect
When we think about self-control, at first it sounds like a personal problem – only affecting the “self.” But in reality, a lack of self-control affects relationship. I’ll share a confession. I recently downloaded a numbers game on my phone, and in one evening I lost myself in the game for several hours. It shortened my quality of prayer time with God, and it diminished my sleep, which affected my mood, which affected how I was relating to others. I lacked self-control for a few hours, but it affected other areas of relationship in my life. Addictions are everywhere, and some are more obvious than others. The obvious addictions: alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, sex, pornography; and the less obvious addictions: shopping, sugar, work, technology, binge-watching shows, collecting specific things (antiques, cards, figurines), exercise, and emotional outbursts (outside of a mental health diagnosis). At the heart of most of these addictions is a desire to numb something. The cure sounds simple, but takes a lot of effort: self-control, better yet, the “self” coming under God’s control. Anyone who has been in relationship with an addict knows, it doesn’t just affect the addict, it also affects relationships. But God in His patient waiting, invites us to relinquish our addictions, our idols, and turn to Him. Take a breath and think of relationships where you have experienced self-control, or even a lack of self-control. Reflect on the mighty control of God toward humanity. How frustrating we sinful people must be, how deserving we are of His wrath. But, for His great love and the atoning sacrifice of Jesus, God’s wrath is under His control as He patiently waits for every sinner to come home to Him.  “Gentle words are a tree of life; a harsh tongue crushes the spirit.” Proverbs 15: 4 Meditate or Reflect
At this point in our fruitful journey, I wonder if you are discovering there are some fruit of the Spirit that are easy for you? Some that are challenging? Some that you desperately desire more of? I am answering yes, yes, and yes for me. Joy, kindness, and gentleness come easy for me, and I especially crave gentleness, and I think it comes from a place of having experienced the opposite. Of course, we won’t live out the fruit of the Spirit perfectly (after all, we are saints who still sin, and we have yet to be adorned in our redeemed bodies); however, when we lean into the Holy Spirit, He leads us on the journey of growing and maturing in the Fruit of the Spirit. Most of us have relational wounds, or loss, or trauma, and we are battle-weary, maybe, broken, maybe exhausted. And harsh words just might “crush the spirit.” Words that are harsh (cursing, sarcasm, mocking, demeaning), tone that is harsh (short, sharp, frustrated), actions that are harsh (physical touch, eye-rolling, striking an object or slamming a door) – all harshness “crushes the spirit” both in others and in oneself. Let us seek gentleness in our words, tone, and actions as gentleness is a life-giving fruit. Take a breath and think of relationships where you have experienced gentleness of spirit. Reflect on the gentleness of God who abides with you like a calm breeze, who leads you in quiet and green pastures.  “Your faithfulness continues throughout generations; You established the earth, and it stands.” Psalm 119:90 Meditate or Reflect
There are few things in life that we can count on with regularity and consistency: the sun comes up every morning, the stars are out every night, and most importantly God is ever present. The verse for today is a truth we can rely on – God has always been, and He always will be present. He is faithful. We have a God who will never leave us, nor abandon us. This is the most perfectly faithful relationship you can ever have. Faithfulness is a promise, it is devotion. When we think of our personal relationships, we have all been wounded by others and we have inflicted wounds, whether intentional or unintentional wounds. We are imperfect people. However, our striving in relationship should be devotion, to keep our promises, and to not abandon others – especially in a time of need. We are called to be faithful people. Take a breath and think of relationships where you have experienced faithfulness – knowing you could count on another’s presence or devotion to you? Reflect on the faithfulness of God and let His faithfulness be a model. Recall to your mind the many ways God has been faithful to you – a fortress, a shield, a refuge (Psalm 144: 2).  “Do not use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Ephesians 4: 29 Meditate or Reflect
So many of our communal spaces have become hostile grounds where language is careless, hurtful, reactive, and abusive; certainly, in the political arena, social media, also at work and in schools, at home, and even among Christians harshly defending theological differences. Name-calling, shaming rhetoric, aggressive speech to tear others down, vulgar language – it seems to be everywhere. The words coming from our culture often are not good. One of our primary focuses in relationship must be the care of each other’s soul, including the language we use. Sarcasm, unkind nicknames, course language, abusive and intimidating language is neither good nor helpful. Instead, we should be intentional about the words we use as a good encouragement to those who hear them. Take a breath and think of areas in your life where you have given or received good and encouraging words. Are there any situations or relationships where goodness is a challenge? Reflect on the goodness of God and let His goodness be a guide. Recall to your mind the many ways God speaks goodness over you – calling you redeemed, beloved, friend. “For the despairing man there should be kindness from his friend; so that he does not abandon the fear of the Almighty.” Job 6: 14 Meditate or Reflect
In his book Compassion, Henri Nouwen writes that to exercise compassion means to “sit with suffering.” I believe kindness is a type of compassion. Kindness is often the silent presence of a friend, or the sacrifice of time to finish another’s chores. In some of the hardest parts of my life, kindness was a strong hug without words, or a walk in nature with a friend who reminded me to listen to the beauty of the bird’s song, or a cup of coffee on the patio with my person, just listening to the wind in the trees. Kindness is being present without the need to “fix.” The kindness of a friend has a way of pointing us to God, reminding us that in our despair God abides with us with kindness and compassion. Take a breath and think of areas in your life where you have kindness – given or received. Are there any situations or relationships where kindness isn’t present? Reflect on the precious kindness of God who abides with you in your troubles. Recall to your mind the many ways God has shown kindness to you. |
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